Increasing the Pause

Through my work and travels I am fortunate to have been in the company of truly inspirational therapists and healers and have learnt so much about myself along the way. This said, putting their rich teachings into practice is often easier said than done, as once the humdrum of daily life takes over, I’m back into stress mode. I have however managed to incorporate some nuggets of wisdom into my daily life and as I grow older, I am starting to increase the pauses - even if only 5 minutes and in doing so make more time for the little things that make a huge difference to my mental health and overall wellbeing. I am often asked how I try to keep body and mind together and time in nature tops my list, but the following suggestions have and continue to help me along my journey

Headspace

Headspace, the mindfulness meditation app founded by Andy Puddicombe was launched around the time that my own search for pause began. One rather sceptical editor asked me to review this new app for a magazine. My verdict: It’s simple - it works.

While there is a monthly cost, there is a free trial period once you sign up. There are many of these apps available now, but to me Headspace is hard to beat, especially for beginners and also teenagers and young adult men.

Loving Kindness Meditation

Metta means ‘loving kindness’ in the Pali language and Metta meditation is a Buddhist practice of cultivating understanding, love, and compassion. We achieve this by looking deeply, first for ourselves and then for others - the belief here being that we cannot truly love and care for others until we love and accept ourselves for what we are.

I have been practising this (almost) daily for the past few months and it’s so easy and takes just a few minutes. - so no excuses! First I offer loving kindness to myself before offering to others who may need it. Although words are used throughout (which for me helps focus on what I am saying), the words are only secondary props as the real focus of the meditation is on a feeling of loving-kindness. Over time the words can fade and you will be left with that tender feeling.

Here’s how:

Sit quietly and comfortably with your back straight - at home, at your desk, in the car (Metta can be done anywhere)

Simply sit and breathe naturally, noticing your breath

Place your attention on the area in the middle of your chest, around your heart and become aware of yourself and focus on feelings of peace and calm. Visualisation can helps (eg visualise a bright ball of light around your heart moving up and out, flooding your body with warmth and love).

Loving kindness for yourself:

Repeat short phrases such as ‘may I be healthy, may I be happy, may I find peace’ etc to yourself and feel the resonance of the words. Let these feelings of warmth and love wash through your body by repeating these phrase over and over, depending on time.

Loving kindness for someone else:

Then bring to mind someone you like a lot and respect - a family member, close friend, colleague etc who may need a little support and love. Feel your warm connection with this person and offer them loving kindness phrases: ‘May you live with ease, may you be happy, may you be free from pain’.

Words can be adapted as needed, but keep it simple. Once you have that feeling of loving-kindness you may not even need the words, or if the words are too many, simply saying, ‘May you be happy’ is also fine. The number of people you send the feeling of loving-kindness to is not important, it’s the quality of the feeling that matters.

Just try it….that warm toasty feeling that comes with regular practice will be worth it!

The Breathing App

My latest find is The Breathing App designed by Eddie Stern, one of the world’s most respected and sought after yoga teachers and author of what to me rates amongst the best new reads on yoga in the modern world: One Simple Thing: A new look at the science of yoga and how it can transform your life.’

So incredibly simple and cleverly designed, The Breathing App is inspired by resonance, the scientific name that describes what happens when our heart rate, heart rate variability, blood pressure and brainwave function come into a coherent frequency. Much like a stress reset button, according to Stern this occurs spontaneously when we breathe at a rate of six breaths per minute (instead of our usual 15-18), and is the rate of breathing that Buddhist monks and Yogis naturally enter into while meditating. By breathing at resonance, we enter into an even balance between the two branches of our autonomic nervous system: the sympathetic (our accelerator) and the parasympathetic (our brake and rest mode) and here lies the multitude of benefits all listed on the app.

Studies have shown that spending just a few minutes consciously breathing sends signals of balance to our brain, bringing us out from the part of our brain that makes us feel overwhelmed into a state of balance and calm.

This type of breathing is most effective when practiced daily, even for a 5-10 minutes. Simply download the app and choose how long you would like to practice and your desired breath ratio. There are four different breath ratios and if you are not used to deep breathing exercises you may find that the shorter inhale ratio better when starting out.

Finally, choose from one of three screens - a breathing ball that gets larger to cue inhale, and smaller to cue the exhale; a clock or musical cues, for those who wish to breathe with their eyes closed (this is my favourite).

Press play and enjoy the calm.

To close, a line by Oksana Rus that might just be worth repeating, always….

‘It finally was entirely silent and I inhaled and breathed its magical peace’

[Stunning Harvest Moon lead photo by Jo Clare of Sea Salt Photography, Sydney @seasaltphotography]